"Roll it up and wrap it how? Llama wants to give it NOW!" - Anna Dewdney, 'Llama llama Holiday Drama'

A few months ago, I published an important piece of investigative journalism, looking at the practice of illegal book trading in ***** County, Ohio. At the center of this report was Anna Dewdney's series of books - the llama, llama books.

If you read the article, you'll see that I predicted the titles of some of the impending books in her series. I used my training, my useful college degrees, and my psychic abilities (skeptics be damned). Lo and behold, as I ambled through Target (known to some religions as 'mecca'), I saw it. I stopped in my tracks. The jaunty red fedora I was borrowing from the hat section slid off of my head.

Slowly, I walked up to it. My mind flashed back to my blog entry. I predicted this! I predicted the drama! With the llama! But not the holiday.

Quickly, I snatched the book up. I flipped through the pages. Little llama... excited for the holidays... too much going on... and then... no. I won't spoil the ending. These books have twists and turns you would NEVER IMAGINE. Ever. Every time I read them, I'm SHOCKED by what that little fucker gets into. You should read the one where he rips the grocery store apart.

Of course I bought the book. After some intensive studying (SC is quite the scholar, you know), we discoverd that Little llama is extremely nondenominational, so we could give the book to our Jewish friends and our Kwanzaa-celebrating enthusiast friends. We know a lot of them, so that was exciting.

Still, I'm angry. It's obvious that Dewdney read my blog (before the security precautions) and stole my ideas. How else would she have come up with one of my unique and groundbreaking titles? My lawyer will be notified on Monday, and I will begin the procedure to receive compensation for this mental violation.

Bitch.