"what's the use in hurrying? what's the use in worrying? turn, turn, we almost go dizzy..." Dave Matthews Band, 'Dancing Nancies'

Dancing Nancies


All my best thinking happens while driving from Columbus to home on route 33. That's where I once got my idea for my future award-winning novel, which will begin with a monster rising up over the horizon.

That's an illustration. Don't you steal my idea. 

Anyway, thanks to Poker Face, I've been really studying Atheism these last few weeks. I think that I can finally say, without reservations, that I am, in fact, an Atheist. The two Atheists that I have called friends for a long time are inspirational in the fact that they are confident and informed about what they believe, but they seem alone. I needed a network. I needed someone to argue for me, since I don't argue so well. I want someone to guide me, to commiserate with me. I needed a high-five every so often. I didn't have that, so I wallowed along in my beliefs, words like "humanist" and "nondenominational" and "spiritual" floating around in my head. I knew what I believed (or didn't believe) but I didn't have an outlet. I didn't have homies backing me up. 

Have I driven that point into your head enough? 

Enter Poker Face. I can describe the man in so many different ways, but you don't need to read all that. Suffice to say, he's the most informed Atheist I had ever met. He's not just an Atheist - he's a SKEPTIC. A skeptic is someone who doesn't believe things just because they should - they need proof. No monsters. No ghosts. No psychics. No fortune telling. No palm reading. Typically, no God (although there are weird skeptics who are agnostic). After talking to him for a few days, I realized something - I'm a skeptic, too. Imagine that you've dropped a huge pile of soot and ash on your garage floor (did you just burn a body? wtf?!). You grab a broom and sweep it up, but there are still a few vestiges of dirt on the floor. Your good buddy (who is helping you dispose of the body, apparently) comes along and grabs another broom and brushes away those last few lingering pieces of ash on the floor. 

That's Poker Face. He helped me to brush away the rest of the dead body. Which, incidentally, is a felony. Oops. Hey, that's why I use fake names.

Anyway, I've been reading authors like Sam Harris and Carl Sagan and Richard Dawkins. I've been watching videos and debates on YouTube. I've joined Atheist groups on Facebook and have been in contact with awesome people who I can talk to about raising a child who's not all Jesus-y and how to defend your lack of beliefs with Christians. There is a community out there - a community of people who know the truth. And here's the thing: it really IS the truth. I feel sorry for religious people. I feel sorry for them for believing a silly book, tainted by misinterpretation and hypocrisy. 

So, as I was driving down 33 earlier this week, I was thinking about my new world view, and I had a moment of clarity. I looked up at the clouds - dark and foreboding because of some impending storm - and I felt like I had meaning. I wasn't submissive to some random guy I had never seen proof of. I wasn't held down to morality because of what some book said. I have some finite set of years, and that's IT. And that's okay. I can have a purpose, not because I'm going to graduate to some other realm - I can have a purpose because this is all I get.  I can't tell you how freeing that is. Some random set of reactions set this world into place so that there was human life. How amazing is that? MUCH more amazing, to me, than some random force creating me. Every possible variable had to be correct in order for me to exist. If all that happened in order to create me, I'd damn better make something of my life. I don't get another go-around. 

Suddenly, everything is so clear to me. I want to hold hands with Atheists and prance around, enjoying the vigor of life. I want to sit down religious people and say, "look how HAPPY you could be! you could live just to LIVE." And, really, I have Poker Face to thank for all of this. He swept up the rest of that rotting, smelling, body (ok, it was ash in the example, but just go with me) and my garage is clean. 

I know that some people need religion in their lives. My mother is a devout Catholic, and prayer gives her peace of mind, and she doesn't hurt anyone else by being religious, so I'm okay with that. But other people are hateful and hurt other people in the name of religion, and that's wrong. It's like beating up someone because they said something mean about the Easter Bunny - or because they believe in a pink Easter Bunny instead of a green one. And I am so much happier acknowledging the fact that there IS no Easter Bunny, and going to the store and buying my own damn Snicker's bar. 

So... I don't think my life is going to change as much, except I've found a great community to bounce ideas off of and to give me support. And Poker Face is an amazing new addition to my life, and I'm going to get him to draw me my rhino tattoo. 

Anyway, have a lovely day... and be good for goodness' sake :)