In Which I Voice an Unpopular View

It happens every few years, it seems. Some screwed-up guy goes to a public place and shoots at random until people lay dead on the floor. The media goes crazy, vigils are held, and both pro- and anti-gun people talk until they are red in the face. Since Columbine, back in 1999, our generation has been familiar with this situation. Except for tighter airport security, it hasn't bothered most of our daily lives much.

When I woke up yesterday, I immediately heard about the shootings. Along with many other Americans, I checked updates all day, reading about the situation, the number of dead, and the shooter. Unlike other mass murders, this shooter was actually still alive at the end of it. Information poured in about him and eventually, about the victims. I had a brief online tussle about gun control, which I eventually conceded due to lack of interest. But then I looked a bit more closely at some of the stories that were coming out of the press. A couple barely escaped the theater with their 3-month old and 4-year old. A 6-year old girl was dead. And while I know that a theater isn't a place where you would expect violence and would ban your young children from, I immediately had to wonder: was a midnight showing of a violent movie really the best place for those small children?

I'm a first-time mother, and a single mother at that. I have a few people who I turn to for parenting advice, but for the most part, I just go along with what seems right and what works. Still, you need to have some sort of values when you're raising children. I innately know that my son's needs come before my own. There is no exception to this rule. If I am not hungry, but he wants dinner, he will get dinner. If I want to go to a concert, and I can't find a good babysitter, then I won't go to the concert. If he's sick, and I have an important day at work but can't find someone to watch him, I'll stay home from work. That's just how life is -- he's my #1. I've seen probably about five "grown-up" movies in a theater in the past 5 years; I only go when he's with my parents or sister-in-law. I can get the movie on DVD when it comes out. I made a choice to have a child, and that means that I am a parent above all else.

So what were these parents thinking when they took their tiny children to a violent movie? The Dark Knight Rises is rated PG-13. It's an action-adventure movie, so it's loud. It's almost three hours long. In addition, this was the premiere of the movie. People wore costumes, shouted, danced around and pushed and shoved. Have you ever been to a midnight premiere? It's crazy! It's like a movie in a nightclub. And it started at midnight. You know, the time when most children are sound asleep in their beds, and have been for hours. What would cause a parent to say, "Well, little Susie likes movies. And she's been really bored by the whole Winnie the Poo series. I bet she would love to see the midnight premiere of a super violent film!". What is in a parent's mind? "My newborn will sleep through the whole thing, probably. And if she starts to cry, no one will care. I'll just take her outside and leave my 4-year old inside."

I know that some people don't agree with me; they feel that people should take their children to any movie at any time. I've heard arguments that there may be extenuating circumstances; the parents may have their days and nights mixed up for the newborn, or they may think the child will sleep through everything. Katia Hetter, from CNN, argues that it's perfectly fine to take your newborn to a midnight showing of a movie. Katia Hetter is wrong. I don't care if you need a break. I don't care if you think your child will sleep. Suck it up and be a parent. Those children who were in danger of dying?  They shouldn't have been. And the little girl who died? She shouldn't have been there, and she shouldn't have died. And although it's not politically correct to blame their parents for bringing them to the movie, I soundly stand behind my belief that their lack of standards for their children were part of the reason that their children died or were in danger. Your child is dead, in part, because you put your own desires before the needs of your child. Harsh? Likely. But it's also true. The majority of parents do everything that they can to protect their children. Maybe other parents should start thinking about their children before they make decisions.

Mass murders will happen again and there's not much we can do to stop it. They will happen in malls and in schools and will be horrific. There aren't really many ways that we can protect our children; still, we can make decisions which will keep our children out of likely danger. A playground on a Tuesday afternoon = good for a child. A violent premiere at midnight = not so much. Are there any questions?