Little Earthquakes

Your son doesn't respect me.

 It's really over. It hasn't been good for a long time.

You don't correct him when he doesn't respect me.

 I'll still be in your life, but I don't know if I ever loved you. 

You'll have to get control of him before he's bigger than you.

I saw you with that other man. He can make you happy. I can't. 

Don't yell at him, don't raise your voice, but control him. Show him who's boss.

 I like the way my life is now. I like my life without  you. 

I'm so angry. I can't be around you.

 I'm so over you. I can't be around you.


"And I hate... and I hate... and I hate... and I hate... disintegration... watching us wither... black-winged roses that safely change their color...."


I make it a huge point to be optimistic. I try, every evening, to gently caress, in my mind, what's good in my life. I often sit and think about where my life was ten years ago, and where it is now, and how much better it is.

But days like today, it's hard to find that good place. It's hard to find my center. It's hard to see the way out of this maze.

I know I'll get through it, one way or another, but right now, I can't even imagine how.