I'm proud of her, of course, the same way that I'm proud of every student who reaches their graduation. She graduates from the same school in which I teach, so I got to see her every school day of her high school career. It'll be sad next year to not have her in school.
However, I'm not going to her graduation party. The main reason that that my brother, her father, is a cold, cruel man. I love him immensely, but he's hurt me too much to be around him. I've spent the span of my lifetime trying to reach the ideals that he set for me, but I was never good enough. I was okay with him being cruel to me, being demanding, being jealous and terrifying, but now I have my son to consider. My brother watches everything my kid does; he blames my son for ridiculous things; he's cruel and hateful. And so I've cut myself off from him, from his wife who's been like my sister for over 20 years, from my three nieces and one great-niece. I love them all, but I love my son -- and myself -- better.
I've been pretty sick about this schism, but it's time. I need to make a clean cut. I have a family and a life, and I shouldn't have to tiptoe around the whims of a hurtful man. I shouldn't have to reach far, far beyond myself in order to please someone who really has no say about my life.
And so I am done.
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I hope NGS's picture has more to do with her post today.
I hope those girls stay in contact with you. If they don't, they're missing out on an awesome aunt.
ReplyDeleteMy dad didn't talk to his sister and I really appreciate that my aunt never held his behavior against me and she's never been anything but wonderful and gracious and welcoming to me. I know your nieces love you and when they are independent adults, they'll understand the decision you had to make for your own wellbeing.