5.20: Lessons - I Have To Be Good

I kind of got in trouble at work last week. I'm not going to go into it all, but suffice to say, I was annoyed at the way that something was handled, and I shot off an angry email to my bosses. All of them. At once. I even had my co-teacher look it over, and she kind of gave me the go-ahead, but it still pissed them off. Then I got an angry email back from my head boss, and I got embarrassed and I hid both the emails in another folder so that I didn't have to look at them.

Sometimes, in the past, I've shot off emails or made comments, and then later I felt kind of bad about it. But I know I'm right this time. However, it's nothing that's going to change overnight, so I have to play the game. I am so, so bad at playing the game. I can't kiss ass, I can't hide my true feelings, and I find it very difficult to hold off on sending emails when I am emotionally invested in something. Especially when it's my students.

My hypothesis (and hope) is that this will be forgotten in a matter of days. It's nothing I'll get fired over. Other teachers do and say worse every week. But after the shit that went down at my old school, I feel very strongly that it's important to not have any dark marks on my name.

This is the Year of Me Saying What I Feel, and so far, it's just kind of gotten me in a position where fewer people like me. According to the Smart People, I will eventually be very happy because I speak my mind. I'm still waiting for that day.

I have to be good. It's my new mantra.

What lesson has NGS learnt?