"I had to stop looking," says best friend. "And that's when I met BB, who had to work for it, because I was about done."
Maybe that's it. I'm not sure.
But I do know that I enjoy that school is almost done, and I enjoy the company of students, and I love my puppies who are assholes and will be the death of me, and I like hanging out with new friends. I have really awesome plans for this summer and I like where I live and I'm not constantly terrified. I've gotten past the sorrow from what I thought was my "final, this-is-it" relationship ending.
I can look back at myself from a year ago and feel so, so sorry for what she's going to have to go through in the next year. But I got through it. Am I stronger? Meh. Probably. Am I happier? I don't know. Maybe.
I'm alive, though. I still have NGS and SC and I picked up some puppies and some new people along the way.
I just hope that next May, I don't look back at ME from 2015 and think "Oh, if that poor girl only knew..."
NGS and I never have to write about being HAPPY again (although I hope we do).
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