12.12: Dream -- The Cycle

We dated, hot and heavy, through February. It was a dream come true.

We dated, calm and loving, through March.

We cooled in April. He fought with SC more than any rational adult should have. 

We broke up... although I'm not sure when, because he would have these long talks with me at midnight and I would fall asleep halfway through them, but I think that's when we broke up.
We still talked all day, every day, and slept together from time to time. 

In May, he texted me about a guy he knew that he thought would be perfect for me. 

It turns out, the guy was B's ex-girlfriend's ex-husband.

I talked to the guy a bit, who was nice, but it was a weird situation. 

B texted me all day, asking how things were progressing with boy.

That night, B went to a band concert with his ex to watch her kids. 

I thought about it, and B had been over there with his ex a lot. 

Prom.

Staying the night to "guard" her from her niece's father.

Parties.

Dinners.

Family gatherings.

I texted him and asked him if he was getting back together with ex-girlfriend. His response?

No. Maybe. I'm not sure. Probably not. But maybe.

Suddenly, it made sense.

Boy A and Girl A had been married.

They got divorced.

Boy B and Girl A dated.

They broke up.

Boy B and Girl B start dating.

They break up.

So Boy B, out of guilt, tries to hook up Boy A and Girl B so he can start dating Girl A again.

B was really, really mad at me for saying this -- he was only trying to hook up two lonely people! he thought we would get along well! -- and he called and he called and I blocked his calls because I just couldn't.

So then he stopped over, and he came in, and he made it all about him, and how I had done so much wrong to him, and how he was only trying to help. and how my ideas were all wrong, and why couldn't I have sex with all of his new girlfriend's ex boyfriends?

"ARE WE BROKEN UP?" he asked.
I nodded.
"THEN IT DOESN'T MATTER!"
I shrugged.
"Also, you lied to me twice this week."
Non-sequitur? 

He kept asking "Is there anything you want to say before I go for good?"

 -- and there was nothing to say.
I think he was waiting for me to say the right thing, whatever that was, but I couldn't pander anymore. No matter what, we were going to come to this, and this was as good a time as any. 

So he said goodbye to the dogs and he left. And as he left, he said "Thanks for adding to my psychosis."

And that actually made it all better -- just like that. Because if I take 700 gallons out of a lake, and then at the very end, the lake kind of makes me throw an eyedropped full of water back into the lake, I don't think that's really that big of a deal. 

It's not a dream anymore, so out the door he goes.

NGS and I don't have to write about DREAMS anymore, and I don't have to balance on barbed wire!